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From the very beginning until now God's heart for the family is to experience its original design as only He created it to be. 

The Heart of a Servant . . .

by Carlene McNabb

Biblical Counselor,

Conference Speaker

Moses Lake, WA

        The Lord God said, “For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife in such a way that the two become one person.”

(Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:6).


According to this passage, this is a conscience decision made in the heart that says, “Except for Jesus, I choose you! I am leaving everything and everyone behind to focus on you for the rest of my life!” (How to Serve Your Spouse, Jimmy Evans).

Jimmy Evans says, “as long as you are living true to this, it has an electrifying effect on your relationship.” The LORD God is telling you in Genesis 2:24 that this relationship will take your undivided attention and complete understanding. The Hebrew meaning of be joined is to pursue with all your energy. When you make the choice to love, honor, and cherish another for life, it becomes your right and responsibility to pursue an understanding of who they are, what they like, dislike, dream of, long for, what disappoints them, causes them heartache, and wounds them deeply. This kind of wisdom creates an atmosphere of tender-loving care and compassion giving you the ability to administer the ointment of Christ’s Love to the places of suffering in your Beloved’s soul.

Jesus shared that one day a Jewish man was traveling along the road to Jericho when bandits robbed him, beat him severely, stripped him naked, and left him half dead. Soon, a Jewish priest was walking down this same road, and seeing the wounded man from a distance, he crossed to the other side, and walked right past him. Later, a religious man came along the same road and likewise crossed to the other side, not stopping to help the wounded man. Finally, a Samaritan came upon the bleeding man and being moved with tender compassion, he stooped down and gave him first aid, pouring olive oil on his wounds, disinfecting them with wine, and bandaging them to stop the bleeding. Lifting him up, he placed him on his donkey and brought him to an inn.



Taking him from his donkey, he carried the man to a room, ministered to his wounds throughout the night, and the next morning he gave the innkeeper money saying, ‘Take care of the man until I come back from my journey and if it costs more than this, I will repay you when I return.” (Luke 10:25-37).

The Jewish man is a type and symbol of your spouse who has been attacked by bandits, robbed along the way, beaten severely, stripped naked, and left half dead by the trauma that sin created within their soul throughout their lifetime. The LORD God designed marriage to give you someone to do life with, someone to call your own, and someone whose heart moves your heart with tender compassion just as the Good Samaritan tenderly cared for the wounded man. The Lord God commands you to pursue your Beloved with all your energy so that you will know them so well that you will stoop down and give them first aid when it is

needed. To accomplish this kind of loving another as yourself, you must allow the Spirit of Jesus to increasingly possess and permeate your thinking, your feelings, and your desires from the inside out. This transformation will create a desire to serve your Beloved rather than to be served by your Beloved.



Jesus’ calls you to demonstrate a love and compassion for your spouse that is beyond your ability apart from His Presence completely inspiring you to think like God, feel what God feels, and desire what God desires. The LORD God established the marriage relationship to be a place of true intimate companionship where joy and pleasure resides. A place where the world will taste and see that the Lord is good, kind, wise, and just, and that He is miraculously at work in such a way that two people become one person. He formed this unique relationship as a place to practice the art of loving your neighbor as yourself.


(Matthew 22:38-39). “Marriage is the laboratory where you develop the skills to love someone who is very different from you.

And, these two very different people have very different brains, different brain development, different hormones, different thinking, different emotions, different desires, different ways of looking at life, and because of this, conflict and tension arise. You see, the LORD God intended marriage to be the place where you learn to love your neighbor as yourself, where you learn to love your enemy and do something wonderful for them in return for their hatred, where you learn to bless the one who curses you, where you

learn to pray for the one who mistreats and harasses you, and where you learn to be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”

(God Made Your Marriage to Last, Pastor Doug Sherman; Luke 6:17-28, Ephesians 4:32).

The LORD God is teaching you to waltz because you and your Beloved do not understand the steps. And at first, it is uncomfortable and confusing, you even find yourself stepping on each other’s toes but as you practice, you learn to gentle your pace, seek to understand the moves, and find yourself being moved with tender compassion towards this precious being you are dancing life with. As you seek to perfect the steps, you find yourself demonstrating tender devotion, stooping down to understand their pain, pouring the Oil of Healing Presence over their hurts, and praying the Word of God over them as the Spring of Living Water begins to purify their soul bubbling up like a gushing fountain, flooding them with endless life! (John 4:10,13). You then lift them up and carry them to the place of honor as you minister to one another throughout the night, and in the morning, you whisper, “It is my privilege to spend time in your life, in your home, and in your bed, so much that I would go around the world to fetch anything for you to make life better.” (Cliffside Bay Series,Tess Thompson).

This is the picture of Jesus, our Magnificent King-Priest, who said, “I did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give My Life as a ransom for you.” (Matthew 20:28). He rose into the Heavenly Realm for you and now sympathizes with you in your frailty. He truly understands your humanity; for as a man, He was tempted in every way you are, but conquered sin. And because of Jesus, you now have free access to boldly draw near to the Throne of Grace to receive Mercy’s Kiss and to discover the Grace you urgently

need to strengthen you in your time of weakness. (Hebrews 4:14-16, TPT).

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